Don't cry! The moment I learned to suppress my emotions—and how it shaped my evolving understanding of masculinity and vulnerability.
Don’t Cry! Be a Man!
I Tore My Meniscus And My Ego
I tore my meniscus at a Phish show and ended up in a knee brace. A funny, honest take on injury, MRIs, medial unloaders, and midlife pain.
Tripping at a Phish Show: A Un-Psychedelic “Experience”
At a 2024 Phish show in Mansfield, MA, what started as a joyful night of music with my longtime concert buddy turned into a full-blown middle-aged reality check. From euphoric jams to an unexpected faceplant in the parking lot, here's the cautionary—and hilarious—tale of how one epic encore exit turned me into 'that guy.' A must-read for Phish fans, aging rockers, and anyone clinging to the glory days.
A Day at Fenway Park: I Took My Wife to the Best Seats, She Brought Yarn.
Despite being a bit cold, the game was great. I mean, sure, Carrie did sit in some of the most coveted seats in all of Major League Baseball and crochet throughout the game, but I let it slide…mostly.
Beware of The Adderall Paradox!
The days when you wake up to find that you don't have any Adderall left are the very days when you most fully appreciate your need for Adderall.
Lifting the Curtain of Loss: Rediscovering My Father and Myself
The curtain between the past and present had started to lift, allowing me to see both who my father was and, perhaps for the first time, who I am becoming without him.
Saying Goodbye to My Father: A Eulogy of Love, Humor, and Memories
My father was modest and rarely spoke about his accomplishments, so when he did, I simply loved hearing snippets of the mastery he had of his field. It filled me with such pride. I couldn’t imagine knowing so much about one area. I still can’t.
A Hundred ‘Morrows More
Tomorrow is the ‘morrow of a hundred ‘morrows more. Anxiety. Explosiveness. Their growls, soft as a roars. Tomorrow is the ‘morrow of a hundred ‘morrows more. Injurious. Dispassionate. Their rages heretofore. Tomorrow is the ‘morrow of a hundred ‘morrows more. Consequences. Unintended? They’re impossible to ignore.
Thoughts Distilled
The threshing floor of latent thoughts, Potential not yet known. Mixing. Morphing. Fading. Fighting. As if they’ve just been sown. Golden in appearance, Undistilled, they wait their turn. Grinding. Groaning. Bubbling. Boiling. Careful. Gold can still yet burn.
The Reins of Repentance
The path of the just, Or the path of the deranged. You tie your mount to fantasies, Of life out on the range. Galloping through miracles, And messianic plains. It’s hard to know which is you, Or who really holds the reins. Onward where the sun meets sky, Sandstorms oft pass through. Blessed are those… Continue Reading →
My Unlikely Teenage Diagnostician: Part 2
Part 1 of My Unlikely Teenage Diagnostician can be found here. I knew right away that she was not like other girls. The mischief started slowly. One day, a little tickle on my neck. I thoughtlessly ran my hand down my near shoulder-length hair and across my neck to rub the tingle away. Oh, the… Continue Reading →
My Unlikely Teenage Diagnostician: Part 1
In the mid-’90s, Abby—a quiet, confident teenage empath with a mysterious presence—was the first to sense something was wrong. Her piercing intuition and outsider charm made her an unlikely but powerful early diagnostician.
Coffee and Communal Commodes
Let’s get one thing straight. A casual saunter is the wrong pace for making one’s way to a public bathroom. Has this happened to you? You’re at a highway rest stop, you’ve been driving for two hours, one and a half of which you’ve had to pee thanks to the ill-advised (but unquestionably necessary) ingestion… Continue Reading →
Just give me the drugs!
“Last name?” “Bornstein.” “Date of birth?” “Well, um, I’m picking up for several people.” “Sure. Which one first?” “Umm, me I guess. 5/13.” “James?” “Yes.” “Okay, it looks like you have two ready.” “Two? My doctor called in three. There should be a 10 mg and 20 mg escitalopram and a 50 mg trazadone. You… Continue Reading →
On Knitting and Guitar Pedals
An evening scene: We’re both in bed. She is lying down with her head slightly elevated and appears quite comfortable. I, on the other hand, am partially reclined, propped up by a poorly constructed heap of pillows, and am not at all comfortable. But I am both tired of readjusting and unwilling to accept that… Continue Reading →
Escape Velocity: Allowing Myself to Take Flight
I never had the chance to see a space shuttle liftoff in person, but someone once told me it jumps off the launch pad like a bullet. On TV it always appeared a bit sluggish to me for the first few seconds, but in reality, just 30 seconds after liftoff it’s already traveling 500 mph…. Continue Reading →
The Imprints that Bring Peace
When I wear tefillin it makes imprints; imprints on my body and imprints on my heart and my mind. The leather straps, wrapped firmly around my arm and hand, when removed leave behind lines – a debossed circuitous path from my bicep to my fingers. These bodily imprints are real – easy to see and… Continue Reading →
To My Daughter on Becoming Bat Mitzvah
In this heartfelt Bat Mitzvah tribute, a father reflects on his daughter Eliana’s journey with humor, honesty, and deep love. From childhood memories to her passion for justice and inclusion, he honors her growth and spirit. Rooted in Jewish tradition, his speech likens her to the Mishkan—a sanctuary built to carry light into the world.
Yeah, we take this Purim thing kinda seriously…
Chag Purim Sameach! Happy Purim! In celebration of Purim 5779/2019 here’s a look at both this year’s family costume and those from years past. I admit that while my wife, Carrie, LIVES for this day (and is the artistic director and master costume designer), I sometimes find this process exhausting. Still, I can’t argue with… Continue Reading →
Introducing the Child Allowance Pay Stub!
Allowance has become a big topic in our house recently. We’ve been spotty with it over the years. We start and then it fizzles out. The thing is, our kids tend to “earn” a decent amount of money on their birthdays and Chanukah from family members, so my wife and I have not been terribly… Continue Reading →
Sometimes You Need to Build an Anatomically Correct Snowman with Your Kid…and Laugh
My youngest (age 5) and I had a no good very bad day yesterday. The kind of day when the adult actually has to apologize to the kid for being a little shit instead of the other way around. Or big shit I guess. Whatever. Today, though, we found some common ground. We went outside… Continue Reading →
Short, Jewish and Lefty
Growing up in southern New Hampshire in the 80’s I distinctly remember thinking that I was the ultimate minority because I was short, Jewish and lefty. It’s laughable in retrospect, of course, because I was also white and middle class, but kids don’t operate with that type of perspective. Here are a few thoughts on… Continue Reading →
Where My Male Identified Parental Units At?
Okay, so yesterday I posted about my new idea to create parenting merit badges so that parents can proudly display their hard-earned parenting achievements, and maybe get a few encouraging pats on the back from their fellow parents in return. Funny right? I thought so. And apparently a lot of you did as well…but by… Continue Reading →
Introducing the Parental Achievements Sash: Start Collecting Your Badges and Pins Today!
Parenting is a thankless job. You work your ass off, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, and you do it because you have to. You can be sick as a dog, have broken bones, a broken mind, an overly-demanding boss, a sick relative and a flat tire, and you’re… Continue Reading →
Entropy: My Completely Futile Beef with the Universe
I’ve got a bone to pick with physics. It’s 100% out to get me. Specifically, my problem is with the second law of thermodynamics, which has to do with this thing called entropy. Entropy measures the degree of disorder in a system and is, without question, the root of all evil in my life. Basically,… Continue Reading →
This better. That more. This less.
Eat better. Read more. Drink less. Daven more. Be cranky less. Exercise more. Buy less. Write more. Yell at my kids less. Play with my kids more. Watch TV less. Clean up around the house more. Procrastinate less. Learn more. Facebook less. Be happy more. Worry less. Play guitar more. Complain less. Yeah. I can… Continue Reading →
Rivka. 25 years old. She married three weeks ago tonight.
Every year I walk up a small hill near my uncle’s apartment in Jerusalem. On that hill is a tree growing along the edge of the sidewalk, and at the foot of that tree is a pile of broken glass; glass from a shattered windshield. For some reason I always notice this glass, and I… Continue Reading →
My Son Has Potty Humor And I Love It
Okay, so I’m probably supposed to discourage potty humor. That’s one of those rules of parenting, right? Teach decorum. Teach manners. Model appropriate language, behavior blah blah blah. Yes, and. Here’s the thing. The cartoon above that my son made is hilarious! I can’t not laugh at it. And you know what? I don’t want… Continue Reading →
It’s Financial Aid Season, Bitches!
Yes, it’s my favorite time of year when I get to pull down my financial trousers and enjoy an electrifying economic endoscopy! From you, my dearest Third-party Financial Assessment Service, I will withhold nothing. Explore me. Examine me. Shine your light into the darkest crevices of my corpus and reveal that which even I have… Continue Reading →
Generous Exclusion & the Art of Family Management
I heard a fascinating piece on NPR recently about “generous exclusion,” a theory that pushes back against the tendency many of us have to be as inclusive as possible. The theory claims that sometimes excluding people is actually a benevolent act; that being overly inclusive is often an impediment to productivity and is, therefore, ultimately… Continue Reading →