Let’s get one thing straight. A casual saunter is the wrong pace for making one’s way to a public bathroom. Has this happened to you? You’re at a highway rest stop, you’ve been driving for two hours, one and a half of which you’ve had to pee thanks to the ill-advised (but unquestionably necessary) ingestion... Continue Reading →
“Last name?” “Bornstein.” “Date of birth?” “Well, um, I’m picking up for several people.” “Sure. Which one first?” “Umm, me I guess. 5/13.” “James?” “Yes.” “Okay, it looks like you have two ready.” “Two? My doctor called in three. There should be a 10 mg and 20 mg escitalopram and a 50 mg trazadone. You... Continue Reading →
An evening scene: We’re both in bed. She is lying down with her head slightly elevated and appears quite comfortable. I, on the other hand, am partially reclined, propped up by a poorly constructed heap of pillows, and am not at all comfortable. But I am both tired of readjusting and unwilling to accept that... Continue Reading →
I never had the chance to see a space shuttle liftoff in person, but someone once told me it jumps off the launch pad like a bullet. On TV it always appeared a bit sluggish to me for the first few seconds, but in reality, just 30 seconds after liftoff it's already traveling 500 mph.... Continue Reading →
When I wear tefillin it makes imprints; imprints on my body and imprints on my heart and my mind. The leather straps, wrapped firmly around my arm and hand, when removed leave behind lines – a debossed circuitous path from my bicep to my fingers. These bodily imprints are real – easy to see and... Continue Reading →
Below is the speech I gave on June 8, 2019 following the service celebrating my daughter becoming Bat Mitzvah. Eliana. Soon after you were born, Ema and I started to notice…an…odor. We would bathe you, of course, but there was often this very sour smell. We couldn’t figure out why. Where was this funny smell... Continue Reading →
Chag Purim Sameach! Happy Purim! In celebration of Purim 5779/2019 here's a look at both this year's family costume and those from years past. I admit that while my wife, Carrie, LIVES for this day (and is the artistic director and master costume designer), I sometimes find this process exhausting. Still, I can't argue with... Continue Reading →
Allowance has become a big topic in our house recently. We’ve been spotty with it over the years. We start and then it fizzles out. The thing is, our kids tend to “earn” a decent amount of money on their birthdays and Chanukah from family members, so my wife and I have not been terribly... Continue Reading →
My youngest (age 5) and I had a no good very bad day yesterday. The kind of day when the adult actually has to apologize to the kid for being a little shit instead of the other way around. Or big shit I guess. Whatever. Today, though, we found some common ground. We went outside... Continue Reading →
Growing up in southern New Hampshire in the 80’s I distinctly remember thinking that I was the ultimate minority because I was short, Jewish and lefty. It’s laughable in retrospect, of course, because I was also white and middle class, but kids don’t operate with that type of perspective. Here are a few thoughts on... Continue Reading →
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