Let’s get one thing straight. A casual saunter is the wrong pace for making one’s way to a public bathroom. Has this happened to you? You’re at a highway rest stop, you’ve been driving for two hours, one and a half of which you’ve had to pee thanks to the ill-advised (but unquestionably necessary) ingestion... Continue Reading →
“Last name?” “Bornstein.” “Date of birth?” “Well, um, I’m picking up for several people.” “Sure. Which one first?” “Umm, me I guess. 5/13.” “James?” “Yes.” “Okay, it looks like you have two ready.” “Two? My doctor called in three. There should be a 10 mg and 20 mg escitalopram and a 50 mg trazadone. You... Continue Reading →
An evening scene: We’re both in bed. She is lying down with her head slightly elevated and appears quite comfortable. I, on the other hand, am partially reclined, propped up by a poorly constructed heap of pillows, and am not at all comfortable. But I am both tired of readjusting and unwilling to accept that... Continue Reading →
I never had the chance to see a space shuttle liftoff in person, but someone once told me it jumps off the launch pad like a bullet. On TV it always appeared a bit sluggish to me for the first few seconds, but in reality, just 30 seconds after liftoff it's already traveling 500 mph.... Continue Reading →
When I wear tefillin it makes imprints; imprints on my body and imprints on my heart and my mind. The leather straps, wrapped firmly around my arm and hand, when removed leave behind lines – a debossed circuitous path from my bicep to my fingers. These bodily imprints are real – easy to see and... Continue Reading →
Below is the speech I gave on June 8, 2019 following the service celebrating my daughter becoming Bat Mitzvah. Eliana. Soon after you were born, Ema and I started to notice…an…odor. We would bathe you, of course, but there was often this very sour smell. We couldn’t figure out why. Where was this funny smell... Continue Reading →
Growing up in southern New Hampshire in the 80’s I distinctly remember thinking that I was the ultimate minority because I was short, Jewish and lefty. It’s laughable in retrospect, of course, because I was also white and middle class, but kids don’t operate with that type of perspective. Here are a few thoughts on... Continue Reading →
I’ve got a bone to pick with physics. It's 100% out to get me. Specifically, my problem is with the second law of thermodynamics, which has to do with this thing called entropy. Entropy measures the degree of disorder in a system and is, without question, the root of all evil in my life. Basically,... Continue Reading →
Eat better. Read more. Drink less. Daven more. Be cranky less. Exercise more. Buy less. Write more. Yell at my kids less. Play with my kids more. Watch TV less. Clean up around the house more. Procrastinate less. Learn more. Facebook less. Be happy more. Worry less. Play guitar more. Complain less. Yeah. I can... Continue Reading →
Every year I walk up a small hill near my uncle’s apartment in Jerusalem. On that hill is a tree growing along the edge of the sidewalk, and at the foot of that tree is a pile of broken glass; glass from a shattered windshield. For some reason I always notice this glass, and I... Continue Reading →
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