To My Daughter on Becoming Bat Mitzvah

Below is the speech I gave on June 8, 2019 following the service celebrating my daughter becoming Bat Mitzvah. Eliana. Soon after you were born, Ema and I started to notice…an…odor.  We would bathe you, of course, but there was often this very sour smell. We couldn’t figure out why. Where was this funny smell... Continue Reading →

My Son Has Potty Humor And I Love It

Okay, so I'm probably supposed to discourage potty humor. That's one of those rules of parenting, right? Teach decorum. Teach manners. Model appropriate language, behavior blah blah blah. Yes, and. Here's the thing. The cartoon above that my son made is hilarious! I can't not laugh at it. And you know what? I don't want... Continue Reading →

Psychological Preferences in How Children Perceive the World Around Them and Make Decisions Based on How They Puke

I think you can learn a lot about a person’s character from their vomiting routine, which is why I humbly submit to you my Myers-Briggs-like analysis of my children’s regurgitation practices. Child One: Introvert, Intuiting, Thinking, Judging (INTJ) This child always makes it to the toilet. Always. The kid is like an all-star running back... Continue Reading →

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